Cauliflower cheese is not entirely
unlike Children.
- It’s unhealthy
- And time-consuming
- And easy to cock up
- Especially if you don’t give it your COMPLETE ATTENTION at all times
- The mess is astonishing
- At some point in the process you will swear Never Again.
- You will also announce that it is Just Not Worth It
Unlike small people however, you
soon realise that it is ALWAYS worth it - particularly when paired with a green
salad or avocado (which is not something you’d automatically put on a plate
with a child).
I did try to minimise the
mess-factor by using an oven-proof pan for the cheese sauce, but some dozy cow from
the council called around just as I was mid-roux, and by the time I’d managed
to shoo her away (“I’m making a ROUX!” I finally yelled – how mad must she have
thought me?) and got back to the kitchen it HAD BURNT, so I had to start again
from scratch, in a clean pan. The final pan
/ implement count was: three pans
(cauliflower x 1, cheese sauce x 2), one colander (cauliflower), one jug
(milk), one cheese grater (um, cheese), one food processor bowl and blade
(bread-crumbs,) one chopping board (cauliflower and cheese), two knives, one wooden spoon, two regular spoons, and one server thingy. And that’s
before I served it up. Which is ALOT of
washing up for one dish. (I daren’t leave
it for the au pair – not least because she has a weekend in Sweden planned in
June which she can’t miss...)
So, as with a third child, I have
finally accepted that when it comes to making cauliflower cheese, you should
never say never.
(Ps:
Rachel made cauliflower cheese recently, which I suddenly thought
of when there was NOTHING in the fridge apart from a cauliflower, some milk,
and – hurrah! - some cheese. Her recipe
is probably alot nicer than mine, however calls for the white sauce simmering
for 20 minutes, which is just too long in this house. Once I start cooking, I
want my food NOW, or as close to as possible. I also use more cheese, because,
as with wine (for me) and Calpol (for them), more is more.)
Cauliflower
Cheese
You need (for 4):
- One large cauliflower, broken into large florets
- 600 ml milk (any type)
- 150g grated cheese (ideally a mix of strong cheeses; I used cheddar and parmesan in equalish measures)
- Two heaped tablespoons butter
- Two heaped tablespoons plain flour
- A couple of handfuls of breadcrumbs
- Salt and pepper
Preheat the oven to 190c / 170c fan
/ 375f
Cook the cauliflower florets in a
pan of boiling water for about 5 minutes – until they’re softened but still
have a bit of bite. Drain and leave to
one side.
To make the cheese sauce:
Heat the milk (in the microwave is
easiest). You want it just below
boiling.
Melt the butter in a deep pan. When it starts to sizzle add the flour and
mix well with the butter. You’re aiming
for a dry, chalky mixture, with no obvious melted butter visible, so if
necessary, add a bit more flour to get this.
Stir over a medium heat until it starts to stick slightly to the pan.
Do NOT answer the door for ANYONE.
Stirring like a lunatic, pour in the
heated milk a couple of splashes at a time; the first few splashes will sizzle
and (seemingly) evaporate, and the mixture will resemble thick paste. Keep adding the milk, a bit at a time, and
stirring frantically, until the mix has the consistency of double cream.
Bring to the boil, stirring all the
time, then remove from the heat.
Add the cheese (keep back a small
handful), and stir well to combine it. Taste, adding salt and pepper if needed.
(Alternatively, just buy a good
ready-made béchamel sauce – about 750ml – heat through, and add grated cheese,
to knock 20 minutes off your prep time, and hours off the cleaning up.)
Bung the cauliflower into the sauce,
stir well to mix, then either keep in the pan – if it’s oven-proof – or slop
into a separate oven-proof dish. Either
way, sprinkle the top with breadcrumbs and the rest of the grated cheese, and dot some butter on
top, then stick in the oven.
A scant 20 minutes later, you will
have perfection in your kitchen.
Which is not something most parents
can often honestly claim.
Love your writing...it makes me laugh. I can think of most things I make that use up every utensil in the house. I come out of the kitchen looking like a demented mad professor with offerings, only to have my 11 yr old pull a face and say 'ugh..what's that?' x
ReplyDeleteI LOVE cauliflower cheese, or indeed, anything covered with breadcrumbs and cheese. I always make masses of breadcrumbs at once and store them in a lunchbox in the freezer, because lugging the food processor in and out of the cupboard, not so much fun..
ReplyDeleteCauliflower cheese is my favourite such a comfort food but I never make it because the fat content scares me! My friend makes a delicious cauliflower soup which I think just involves cauliflower milk don't quote me on that i'd have to check that!
ReplyDeleteI use skimmed milk in a vain attempt to convince self that it's healthy. I think a trick could be to use v string cheese, so you use less... I am something of a cheese addict however, so NEVER use less
DeleteStrong. Not String. Cannot think of a single recipe which would benefit from the use of string cheese.
DeleteJust a quick idea: if you use low fat spread, use 2 tbsp of that, 2 tbsp flour and 1/2 pint milk, put them all in the pan at once, turn on the heat and whisk it continually with a balloon whisk, it is lower fat and lump free. And less stress. But still...don't answer the door!
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know that I picture you as the hot slutty bridesmaid in the "Horse Outside" video, now that I know you're Irish. That is all.
ReplyDeleteIn case that made no sense: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljPFZrRD3J8
ReplyDeleteSo I was thinking of something witty to say in response to this, but having watched the video again, all I can think is -God, I wish.... Now it's closer to mrs Doyle from Father Ted. Without the rosary beads and the tea tray, obviously
DeleteYou can make breadcrumbs (adequate enough ones but not a grade panko quality) by grating a frozen slice of bread. Easy peasy and less cleaning.
ReplyDeleteI never ever thought of that. Makes perfect sense tho. thanks.
DeleteMake your cheese sauce in the microwave, woman! No burning, less stirring, easier washing up and way, way less time-consuming.
ReplyDeleteMelt butter in microwaveable bowl. Add flour (roughly same amount of tablespoons as butter) and stir. Microwave for 30 seconds. Add some milk and stir. Microwave one minute. Add more milk, stir again (these are all easy stirs, no heavy duty whisking involved!). Microwave one minute (or less if you aren't making very much). Repeat until desired consistency. Add cheese, stir and microwave for the last time. Final stir and you're done.
No pan watching so you can even answer the door...
That's how my Mum makes it, and it's always delish. I find something quite relaxing about the traditional process - unless I'm interrupted, of course - but I'll try this next time. AND Attila's suggestion too.
DeleteLocks door, starts to make cauli cheese.
ReplyDeleteThanks great recipe and fun read. Found you through Frugal Family in Fife.
Nice blog!
Off to subscribe
Thank you Orkney, and welcome! It's lovely to cyber-meet you.
Deletei now turn off the heat once I've cooked the roux, then add the milk bit by bit and only turn the heat back on to thicken up/add cheese...stress level reduction = high - bicep workout =reduced...
ReplyDeleteI BLOODY LOVE CAULIFLOWER CHEESE. That is all.
ReplyDelete